Committed

COMMITTED by A.R. Kirby Episode 30 Tal, two neighbors, and Toby ith Liv and the girls safely on their way to obtain the finest locally grown, fairly traded, organically wholesome and obscenely expensive groceries available in the metropolitan Birmingham area, Tal was able to turn his attention to the front yard. The mower and his body followed quickly thereafter, and soon he was crisscrossing the front yard in neat lines, starting alongside the front of the house and slowly moving back and forth toward the curb along the street. While he would have liked nothing better than to breeze across the front in the same rapid manner in which he completed and improved the back yard, Tal was quite mindfully taking his time with the front. His caution was understandable. Liv’s reproach -- slight though it was, he readily admitted -- was still fresh in his mind and adding to his motivation to keep his powers in check were the two elderly gentlemen monitoring his progress from across the street and two yards up. In order to keep up the facade. Tal plodded behind W Committed by A.R. Kirby the mower, grunting from time to time and occasionally wiping nonexistent sweat from his brow. Less noticeable was the care he took to avoid rearranging the geography of the lawn. Tal tried very hard not to think about how he wanted the lawn to look in its finished form; he was afraid that if he did, the earth would jump with his thoughts and the lawn would be transformed immediately for all and sundry to see. The task was more difficult than he thought, and occasionally small patches of lawn would rearrange themselves as he passed. Fortunately, the action was almost unnoticeable, especially from any kind of distance. When he reached the edge of the lawn closest to the drive, Tal threw up a hand in greeting towards his spectators. The men -- one tall and gaunt, the other short and stubby -- gave barely noticeable nods in return. Tal nodded back, then returned his attention to about-face he was making with the mower. The two men were Merle Cusimano (the tall one) and Homer Johnson (the tubby one), the elder statesmen of Hambry Lane. Both men were in their late seventies, retired, widowers, and (literally) the last, oldest men standing following the most recent round of gentrification in the neighborhood. The similarities between them ended there, with one exception. Cusimano was the final -- and most successful -- link of a long line of proud Italian immigrants who worked in the steel mills when Birmingham was a much younger city. Johnson was originally a Yankee who moved to Birmingham from upstate New York to live with his new wife following his service in the Korean War. The two men had lived in neat 2 Episode 28 split-level houses across the street from each other for the better part of fifty years, and their friendship was based more on proximity and longevity than anything else. They did share a love, however, of criticizing the lawn care methods of all the other men in the neighborhood. They could often be seen at the end of one of their driveways, blathering on and on to each other about subjects as diverse and interesting as who was using the wrong type of fertilizer or who had a terrible time trying to get zoysia grass to grow in this neighborhood. It was the elderly male version of gossiping over the back fence, and Cusimano and Johnson lived for it. “Who’da thunk it -- Hooper mowing before the Independence Day,” Merle said, then spat into the grass. “Yup,” Homer agreed. “Almost seems like he’s enjoying it. Never seen him like that before. And I say it’s about time, too.” Both men nodded silently as they continued to watch Tal’s efforts. It was such a rare sight that both men were completely engrossed. After a space of almost two minutes, Merle broke the uncommon silence. “So whatcha know about Hooper down there?” “Not a lot,” Homer replied, watching as Tal muscled the mower around a small tree toward the curb side of the yard. “His mowing technique ain’t for crap, but that’s understandable, since he only mows about four times a summer. Other than that, he seems like a decent fella. Teaches history down at the university, I think. His wife made me a real nice casserole after Mabel passed a 3 Committed by A.R. Kirby couple of years ago.” “Hmph,” Merle grunted, and spat again. “Teaches at the university, huh?” “Yup.” Homer paused and scratched at the stubble on his cheek. “Nice enough guy, but something just ain’t quite right about him.” “He’s one of them brainy types, that’s what it is,” Merle answered with a sneer. He leaned in closer to Homer. “Bet he smokes that dope, too,” he hissed. Both men straightened and nodded at each other in silent agreement. Tal toiled along, paying no attention to his neighbors and wishing he was inside, reading a book and drinking a beer. At this point, anyone standing on the Hooper’s front porch watching this exchange would quite likely become incredibly bored and start looking at something else. If they looked about fifty feet directly above where the old men stood, they would have seen a small area where -- through pure botanical chance -- the thick, leafy oaks and pecan trees that provided a shady canopy for the subdivision parted slightly. Through this parting, if it was a clear day and the person on the porch had good eyesight, the statue of Vulcan could be glimpsed on its pedestal atop Red Mountain. Since much of what happens later to Tal and Liv concerns this iron goliath, some history is in order. The statue of Vulcan, Roman god of the forge, is the largest cast iron statue in the world, standing 56 feet tall and weighing more than 50 tons. It stands atop a 4 Episode 28 130-odd-foot-tall pedestal and observation tower which is the centerpiece of its namesake park on Red Mountain near downtown Birmingham. The statue depicts the ancient god in work mode, standing at an anvil with a hammer in his left hand while inspecting a newly-forged spear in his right. One of the more interesting (some might claim disgusting, but there are no judgments here) aspects of the statue is the adornment the sculptor chose for his creation. On his front, Vulcan wears a blacksmith’s apron as he inspects his handiwork. The backside of the apron stands open, however, resulting in a permanent moon hanging over Birmingham’s southern suburbs. It is an exceptionally odd type of monument for a city to claim as it’s defining landmark. Not that a statue is such an odd thing; many cities have impressive sculptures of founding fathers or brave war heroes. But outside of Italy or Greece there is very little reason for a city to erect a massive sculpture of a pagan deity. When said city is in the “buckle” of the Bible belt, there would seem to be even less cause. Nonetheless, Vulcan is arguably the landmark for which Birmingham is best known. There is, of course, a story behind the creation of this iron giant and its relationship with Birmingham. At the dawn of the twentieth century, Birmingham was a young, eager city, flush with industrial accomplishment. The iron and steel industry upon which the city’s economy was based created such incredibly rapid growth that the area became known as the “Magic City,” as it seemingly popped up out of the Alabama woods overnight. 5 Committed by A.R. Kirby Birmingham steel was being used around the world, and residents were proud of what was happening in their fair city. At the time, there was a general feeling among the populace that the city deserved some sort of grand display to celebrate the progression and achievement occurring in central Alabama. An exhibit at the upcoming 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis would provide the perfect stage. But what kind of display would do the region justice and bring attention and interest to the fledgling metropolis? The then-manager of the Alabama State Fair, a Mr. James MacKnight, came up with the idea of Vulcan, thinking that the god of the forge would be an exemplary symbol of Birmingham’s industrial prowess. A massive statue, made of local iron and cast by the area’s skilled craftsmen, would be a supreme showcase for the city. The idea caught on like wildfire, and soon afterward Italian sculptor Giuseppe Moretti was commissioned to make the vision a heavy metal reality. As it turned out, the exhibit was a hit, Birmingham was on the map, and Vulcan became an enduring symbol of the “Pittsburgh of the South”. Of course, none of this was on Tal’s mind as he hit the kill switch and reviewed what he had done. Across the street and two yards up, Merle and Homer watched as Tal pushed the mower around the side of the house. With begrudging acknowledgement that their neighbor had, indeed, done a great job with the yard, the two men parted ways and headed back to their own homes. 6 Episode 28 ---------Showered, shaved, and neatly dressed in a pair of black cargo shorts and a tan island shirt with a parrot motif, Tal sat on the sofa in the cool of the living room and fidgeted. The old issue of Mother Jones he had open in his lap failed to hold his attention for more than a sentence or two at a time, his glance drawn across the living room and through the kitchen toward the back door and the deck. A cold Sweetwater 420 beer bottle stood open and untouched on the coffee table, condensation dripping down its sides. Screw it, he thought, and stood up, the magazine falling to the floor as he did. I can’t just sit here, for God’s sake. This is just way too cool. He made his way quickly to the bedroom and opened one of the windows, then moved a pair of speakers from the floor onto the windowsill so that they pointed outside. He rummaged through a small stack of CDs, smiled when he pulled out R.E.M.’s Life’s Rich Pageant, popped it into the CD player, and hit play. Bobbing his head to “Begin the Begin”, he moved to the dresser and opened his sock drawer, dug around for a moment and then pulled out a small wooden box. After wrangling around a bit getting his beer, the box, and a chaise lounge from the deck all positioned correctly in the yard (this was more difficult that it would seem, as Tal made a definite point of avoiding the area of the large door/table), Tal finally settled himself in a perfect vantage point for him to sit and observe his earlier handiwork. With the beer on the ground next to the chaise, Tal 7 Committed by A.R. Kirby carefully placed the box on the ever-so-slight roll of his stomach, and glanced around to ensure that no one had joined him in the yard. He slowly opened the box, pulled out a pack of rolling papers and a small plastic baggie of marijuana, and carefully began the process of rolling a joint. A few minutes later, he was preparing to seal his hand-rolled prize by licking the gummed edge of the paper closed. “So what’s going on here?” Tal jumped at the now-familiar high-pitched rasp, knocking the box onto the grass beside the chair and almost dumping the contents of the joint all over Tal’s gaudy shirt. “Just trying to relax a little bit and enjoy some of the fruits of my labor,” Tal said as he settled and inspected the minor damage to the joint. He was a bit surprised to see the Toby make an appearance, and not a little bit irritated. Ignoring the intrusion, Tal set about repairing the joint, and Toby walked around to the front of the chaise so he could see Tal’s face. “That doesn’t look like any kind of fruit to me,” the cat said, a hint of a sneer in his voice. “Well, it is a plant,” Tal replied, finishing the joint and putting it behind his ear. He paused and glanced at the ground to the left of his chair, and then to the right, and was relieved to see that his box had landed right-side up, and none of the contents of his bag had spilled. After retrieving a small disposable lighter from the box, he closed the lid and placed it carefully under the chair, then 8 Episode 28 turned back to Toby. “Haven’t you heard of marijuana?” “Marijuana? Do you mean pot? Weed? Cannabis? Kind bud? The icky sticky? Green? Da Chronic? Mary Jane? Yes, I might have heard of it,” Toby said, his forelegs crossed across his chest. “I studied a lot of human culture before I came to your planet, and I know much about many things. But I haven’t seen you with pot before, and I must admit I’m a little surprised at you, Hooper. I suppose I should have known, what with all your hippie ways, but...” “I’m not surprised that you’re surprised,” Tal interrupted. “It’s not something that we do often, and we’re pretty discreet, too. Oh, don’t look so shocked -- I did say ‘we’, and yes, Liv smokes a little from time to time. It’s something I think we both started in college and just never stopped, I guess. Personally, I like it better than drinking; no hangovers, you know? I keep a little bit around for occasions... well, I was going to say ‘for occasions just like these’, but that doesn’t really apply, does it? I mean, I can honestly say I never expected to get powers or go to the moon, so I certainly wasn’t saving it for that. I guess you could say I save it for special occasions. And this is certainly something special.” With that, Tal pulled the joint from behind his ear and stuck the end of it into his mouth, flicked the lighter to life and touched the flame to the end of the crinkled paper. He inhaled deeply, smoke rising from the glowing tip of the joint. Toby watched with bemusement as Tal leaned back onto the chaise, held his breath for a moment, and then 9 Committed by A.R. Kirby slowly exhaled a cloud of smoke. “Wanna hit?” Tal asked, proffering the smoldering joint toward the fuzzy alien. “Oh, no, I don’t think so,” Toby said, waving a paw in front of his face to shoo away the remnants of Tal’s hit. “I’m not certain what that might do to my Empyrean physiology.” “What Empyrean physiology? You’re a cat.” “Nonetheless, I think I’ll pass.” “Oh, come on,” Tal said, pulling the joint back to his own lips and taking a deep drag. “It might settle you out some. You need to be more mellow,” he said, his voice hoarse and quiet as he held in the smoke. “What would I do?” “Oh, it’s easy,” Tal said with a huff as he blew out the last of the smoke. “You just hold the end that’s not lit to your lips and inhale. Watch,” he said, and drew in a giant hit to emphasize his point. Almost immediately, he began an incredible hacking and coughing fit, failing miserably in his attempt to demonstrate the proper method by which one should smoke pot. “Well done,” Toby said dryly as Tal sputtered to a halt and wiped his eyes. “No problem,” Tal said, and cleared his throat.. “Yeah, I think that was the one. So. You ready?” Tal once again proffered the joint to Toby, who looked at the human impatiently. 10 Episode 28 “If I’m going to do this, you’ll have to hold it for me,” Toby said, holding his forepaws so Tal could see them. “No thumbs.” “All right,” Tal said, and leaned forward toward the end of the chaise, positioning the joint directly in front of Toby’s face. The cat viewed it suspiciously for a moment, and then with a look of resignation, put his lips to the end and sucked. He dragged deeply and held in the smoke for a number of seconds before exhaling a steady stream of smoke toward Tal’s intrigued face. “Hey, that’s not so bad,” Toby said. “Tastes a little funny, but not bad. Think I’ll have another.” He did, as did Tal. “So what brings you out here, Hooper?” Toby asked as he laid on his back on the lawn, his paws behind his head. “I thought I was going to sit in the living room and read, but I just couldn’t do it,” Tal said. “I’m too worked up about all this..” -- Tal made a sweeping gesture to indicate the now-verdant landscape of the back yard -“to pay attention to a magazine.” “I’ll bet. It’s been quite a couple of days for you two. But you seem to be handling it pretty well.” “Man, I don’t know about that. I mean, this is obviously the coolest thing ever to happen to me. Just look at me... I’m a super hero! Well, I may not look like it, and I don’t have a freakin’ clue what I’m doing, but hey! I’ve got powers! So what do we need to do with them? And what about everything else? Do we need a hideout? What about costumes? Do we tell the girls? 11 Committed by A.R. Kirby Should we get a helicopter? Where would we get a helicopter, anyway? Do we need to set up a hotline to the police? Do we...” “Wow, you ask a lot of questions,” Toby said, leaning back and looking at the clouds. “Of course I’ve got questions; someone tells you you have to save the world, you’re going to have some questions. But I think Liv and I are going to have to come up with the answers ourselves.” “That’s a good way to think, Hooper.” “Well, it’s not like we’ve got someone we can call to help us with this. But I think we’ll do all right. Just look at what I did here in the yard. Hell, I bet Liv and I could transform the Sahara if we wanted to.” “Dreaming big is nice,” Toby snickered. “Just look, Toby,” Tal said, sitting up in the chaise. “There is so much we can do! Seriously! If Liv would just chill out for a minute and quite worrying all the time... she just keeps going on and on, all worried about whether we’re doing the right thing, and completely freaking out about what exactly it is we’re supposed to save the world from... we’ll do what we need to do when we need to do it. I know it, and she’ll see that we can do this, too.” Tal stopped abruptly. Silence hung in the air. “Or maybe I’m just stoned,” Tal said after a moment, and flopped back into the chair. “Do you think we can do this?” 12 Episode 28 “Believe it or not, I do,” Toby said. “You’re good people. I think you’ll do all right.” Tal gave a dismissive wave. “Eh, you’re high, too.” “You know, I’m not really feeling anything,” Toby said, and stretched. “Maybe I should try again.” He motioned for Tal to hold the joint for him, and Tal obliged. “Nothing,” Toby said as he exhaled. “I guess my advanced alien constitution is too evolved to be affected by such a lowly human pastime as ‘getting high’...hrrk!” As soon as he said the word ‘high’, Toby’s face contorted into a grotesque mask, and it looked to Tal as if the cat’s arms had frozen in a spastic, Frankenstein-like lurch. “Toby?” Tal asked concernedly. “You okay?” Toby made no sound. His body jerked erratically two or three times, and then the cat took off, running at top speed around the perimeter of the privacy fence. Tal watched in amazement as Toby made three laps around the fence, a fuzzy blur tearing silently around the yard as he ran. Halfway through his fourth lap, Toby made a ninety-degree turn directly toward at Tal. In a flash, he was at the chaise, and leaped over Tal’s head at the last possible moment. He bounced off the deck railing above the yard like a shot, and finally landed with a solid thud in a heap at the foot of the chaise lounge. “Toby!” Tal leaped from the chaise and knelt over Toby’s still body. He put his hand on the scruff of Toby’s 13 Committed by A.R. Kirby neck and rubbed gently, trying to get a response from the cat. “Toby? Hey, Toby,” he crooned, but to no avail. What the hell have I done? he thought, looking at the motionless cat. I got an alien cat high and killed it, that’s what. Shit. What can I do? Tal recalled seeing an animal rescue program on the National Geographic channel where a woman gave mouth-to-mouth to a chimpanzee. With a sigh, he rolled Toby onto his back and leaned his face into Toby’s. Just as he was about to put his lips to Toby’s snout, the cat’s eyes opened wide, and Toby wriggled out of Tal’s grasp with a surprising strength and quickness. “Sucker,” Toby said, standing in front of a shocked Tal and making a reeling-in motion with his paws. “You humans really are softies, aren’t you?” Tal leaned back on his haunches and stared at Toby. The human’s face was a study in resigned aggravation. Toby’s face, on the other hand, expressed a smugness and arrogance that would have looked at home on Marie Antoinette. “Is there a particular reason you’re such a dick?” Tal asked as he regained his seat on the chaise and found his beer. “Is there something in the Galactic Handbook that dictates when members of an advanced civilization encounter less-advanced species that they have to be asses? Have we insulted you in some way? Please, go ahead and tell me so we can get this out of the way and move ahead.” “Oh, don’t be such a pansy,” Toby replied. “That was 14 Episode 28 funny, and you know it. You should have seen your face when I started having my ‘seizure’. Plus, I’m quite proud of my ricochet off the deck railing -- not many beings could nail that landing like I did. Besides, for the most part I’m just ‘yanking your chain’, as you humans put it. There are far worse ways for someone to screw around with your lives. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m baked and I’ve got the munchies in a bad way. I’m off for some kibble and a nap. Thank you for the buzz and the entertainment.” With that, Toby weaved his way up the stairs, bumped into the door frame, muttered under his breath and made his way back into the house. To be continued... 15