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Why so blue, panda bear?
Originally published 03/25/2006 on Cadet Spiff's Deep Space Log
I woke early this morning, around 7:30 to be precise, which is unusual for me in several ways. First, it's Saturday, my one day off during the week. Second, it's Saturday and the weekend I don't have my kids, which generally means I was out quite late the previous night. Not so this week. The cold/flu/plague/ebola virus that struck me a week ago has been sticking around like an unwanted houseguest, and by the time I got off work last night all I wanted to do was get into bed. Third, I generally hate mornings; perhaps it's something about the way the sunlight angles between the blinds and hits me square in the eyes.
In any case, I was up early, especially for me. Rested, ready, and above all, hungry.
While I like to cook, breakfast is not my specialty. So it was off for some fast food. Into the Blazer with a cigarette and sunglasses, and I was off like a shot to Mickey D's for some McGriddles. I have to admit it's a beautiful morning; there's a bit of chill in the air, but the sun is shining, birds are singing, and the promise of a great day is warily poking it's head through my bleariness to see whether it should come out to play.
The McDonald's near my house was recently renovated with, among other things, a new two-lane drive thru ordering area. I don't know if any of you have experienced one of these, but it consists of two ordering speaker areas which merge into one lane, where you then pay for your food at the first window, then move on to the second and get your order.
McDonald's was already busy when I arrived. As I pulled in, I could see quite a line of vehicles waiting to pick up their purchases. I drove around the building to get in the drive through, and there were two cars in the right-hand ordering lane; someone already at the speaker, and a silver BMW convertible waiting in line. Since no one was in the left-hand lane, that made it the obvious choice. I pulled up to the speaker, made my order right away, and preapred to get in line with the other cars to hand over my hard-earned cash.
While the two-lane drive seems to be a good idea, it has one fatal flaw: the merge. I can see potential disaster with this design, in that one day, someone is going to be in such a hurry to get thier McFlurry that a major pileup will occur with the car (or cars) from the other lane that are in such a hurry to get their Quarter Pounder with Cheese Extra Value Meal (R).
This is what almost happened this morning. As I pulled forward, the BMW pulled quickly in front of me, my bumper aligned directly with its rear quarter panel. I hit the brakes, and got a nasty look from the other driver, a woman wearing sunglasses and a shade of lipstick far too red for this early on Saturday.
The line started moving and I took my place behind the BMW, being able to keep an eye on the driver in her rearview and side mirrors. And the one thing I noticed during the two or three minutes I was in line behind this woman is that she never smiled once. Nope, those lips were drawn tightly in what seemed to be a permanent frown. Even when she was talking to the cashier, she still frowned.
As I looked around at the other cars in line, it seemed all the occupants were frowning. Brows creased, mouths turned down at the corners, eyes narrowed. The only person -- other than myself -- who was smiling was the little Hispanic woman who handed me my food.
Funny thing, that. The one woman with obvious reason NOT to smile -- she's working on a gorgeous Saturday morning, stuck in a little hole, handing crap fast food to ungrateful customer after ungrateful customer -- is the one whose pearly whites are shining through.
"Thank you," she tells me as she hands me the Diet Coke and my bagful of cholesterol.
"No, thank YOU," I reply, "and have a great day." And I meant it. I hope she does.
As far as the woman in the BMW is concerned, however, I imagine the frown remains. If she can't appreciate a morning like this, I guess she doesn't deserve to be happy.
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